"...the last refuge of a scoundrel..."

In off the chain GOP news…I kinda thought that the Republicans were desperate to turn out the vote this election, but I don’t think The Onion could have dreamed up the shit I’m about to tell you now. Apparently a GOP PAC financed by a white billionaire named J. Patrick Rooney is running radio ads targeting African Americans. No surprise there, right? But just listen to some of these ads at the site Vote our Values (click on the link titled “Listen to the Ads” at the homepage). The spot transcribed below on abortion is titled “Don’t Go There,” and is scripted as a conversation between two men.

Michael: If you make a little mistake with one of your ‘hos,' you'll want to dispose of that problem toot sweet (sic), no questions asked, right?

Dennis: That's too cold. I don't snuff my own seed.

Michael: Huh? Really? Well, maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican.

People, I kid you not. And there is much worse where that came from. There are a total of 24 radio spots at this site, most with pretty basic titles reflecting Black political concerns (“Katrina,” “Faith-Based Initiative,” “Accountability”) but all with asinine dialogue purpose-designed to inflame the worst reactionary politics plaguing the Black electoral base (including the usual GOP boogeymen like terrorism, public schools, and gay marriage).

Wanna know what’s even more insulting about this ad? The voice of the character “Dennis” in the ad transcribed above is very obviously a white guy. This is how the GOP intends to attract Black voters? What the fuck are they thinking these days?

Also, don’t forget to check out the site of this loser running against Brad Miller for the congressional seat in my district, Mister Vernon Robinson. This fool, allegedly a Black man, has some seriously fucked-up ads demonizing undocumented immigrants and Arab-Middle Eastern folks (all in the valiant effort to prevent “terrorism” and the destruction of America). In his latest ad, Robinson recreates Jesse Helm’s infamous “white hands” attack ad for his 1990 campaign against Harvey Gantt, except this time with a Black woman who lost a job to an “illegal alien” who would get “paid under the table.”

Like I said, The Onion couldn’t make this shit up.